...What do you do when your heart is breaking, or has been broke for few years now?
Do you blame the person who broke it, or is it your own fault?
I don't get very personal on this blog of mine, I don't know why that is.
Its my blog, it should be more personal-ish, right?
Texting between RED & I tonight...
I wanted your heart RED, not just your dick.
I never seen you like that, I thought that was understood. Sorry but part ways.
"Part ways"? Yeah, okay.
...Almost four years of whatever the hell we had, I think it finally ended tonight.
But really, we never had anything to being with, so I don't know why I am so broken right now.
Out of all the guys I have liked/"been with", never felt the way I did about RED.
I am 99% sure that has to do with the fact that he was alot of my "first"...
Which really, I just need to get the fuck over.
I will never forget him, & I am okay with that, I however just don't want to remember him any more.
(Does that make any sense?)
It hurts way to damn much...For twenty years I was fine not knowing him, for the last four, different story.
I really do believe that my love for him could have made the world jealous, or something like that.
It just sucks that I am not good enough for him...
Its funny, this day last year, we got into this huge fight, I thought that was the end, but now it really is.
Its funny, this day last year, we got into this huge fight, I thought that was the end, but now it really is.
& to answer my own question,
I blame him for the first time, however for all the other times, its my own fault.
I am going to take tiny break from the blogging...
Life is just to blah right now to being posting pictures of Kim K.
PS: Hopefully this is the last blog post about RED.
PS: Hopefully this is the last blog post about RED.
xo SARMIN
Hey Sarmin,
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry that I am just getting on Blogger now. I am SO sorry you are in so much pain. I can tell you so well that I have been there PLENTY of times… well, in my life I’ve had about 3 breakups like that that gutted me. They are so beyond hard and a lot of the time, I just got into the fetal position and laid on the floor. So sad and difficult to move past someone you spent so much of your time with (firsts also bring along extra pain), I beyond get it.
Just try to remember a few things- grieve the loss wholly for a temporary period of time (a week, 2 weeks, a month? Just make sure this phase has an endpoint). Cry, feel sad, have a pity party, watch shows and don’t stop yourself when you feel like being down- be down!
This phase will pass… you will likely then get angry, which is a great time to ignite some exercise. For me, exercise is the saving grace. Not only does it elevate your mood and your general disposition about everything but you are moving past him while bettering yourself. I don’t know what I would have done without it. Whenever I was about to lose my marbles over a breakup and saw a lot of tears and horribleness in the ensuing night, I rushed to the gym. It helped immensely. Not to mention you’re allowed to look ugly and disgusting without judgment there, haha.
Through all of this, be social with your girlfriends and fight, fight, FIGHT the urge to contact him. The best part of the process is that one day (and the day will come) you will find that you just don’t care anymore. And that my friend, is a beautiful day.
I understand it’s not a formula but for me, those simple tricks helped to ease the pain of a horrible time. I wish you well! And I hope you’re doing okay!
Also, keep in mind that you don’t know the future- maybe you guys are done forever and maybe you’re not, but you should still move past NOW because if you guys have been fighting like this for awhile, the best decision overall is to take a break from things.
ahh Sarmin, I'm sorry to know that you're having a hard time at this moment. I agree with Miss Caitlin on this one, now's your time to spend your time with your girlfriends (always helps for me!). Hope you get back to blogging soon
ReplyDeleteAyesha xx
No worries about sending it, seriously- whenever you feel up to it!!!! and I hope you're feeling better :)
ReplyDeleteSarmin. SCREW HIM! Haha You're amazing and don't let that pretty little chin drop.
ReplyDeletefollow each other?
Heartbreak hurts. The good news is that you do get over it -- at some point. Sometimes, it never completely goes away, though. I'm sorry that this has happened to you.
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Twitter: @GlamKitten88
Head up and keep going!! everything`ll be just fine!!!
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Call me... I'm going through some shit myself. We can cry together.
ReplyDelete